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| Good afternoon my fellow xangans, it's been quite a while since I've been on here blogging and what not. I've been busy with work and class as usual. Don't know if I've really updated enough for everyone to know what's been going on, but I guess I'm okay now. The past is in the past, you nor I should forget it, but should use it to move forward in life. Don't get stuck in the past, you'll live to regret it. Living in the past does nothing but cause pain and sorrow, sufferring that can be avoided. After logging in and reading some blogs from my subscriptions, I figured that I'd write a little about my past experiences. First and foremost, high school. Those four years of high school were like nothing compared to my life. They went by like another reality TV show. What's done was done, what happened happened. I can't agree with people who say that high school years are the most important years of your life, I don't agree with that. High school had it's good and bad times just like elementary school and just like the future will have. Nothing can be the best years of your life because you need to experience your full life in order to know what was the best. what I really miss about high school the most was my sophomore year. That was the best year within my high school years. I had met great people, great friends, whom I miss dearly now. I've lost contact with most of them, but I hope they're all doing well whatever they're doing. I miss lunch with them, I miss prom night with them (yes I went to senior prom my sophomore years because most of my friends were seniors, so they just HAD to have me go). I just miss them dearly, I miss other people too, but them the most since they left first. Secondly, working. If you guys haven't already heard from me, personally already, I've gotten a job since senior year of high school. I work at Noodles & Company, yes, NOODLES!!! LoL I work at the one in La Grange, it's past Harlem on I-55. I've been working there for over a year now and have been promoted to Shift Manager for quite a while now. Work is fun most of the time, most of the people there are really great, some... I won't mention who... are rather... irritating. We're usually busy on Thursday, Fridays and Saturdays, so if you're ever going to visit me, visit me then since those are basically the only three days I work. Well... that's kind of a lie now, I work Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays ONLY now. Since I have classes Tuesdays through Thursdays and Monday is "family" day. Anyways, it's fun, it's cool, good pay at least. Nice people, love it there, would prefer another job, but I'll keep at this for a while. Thirdly, relationships. So... in the revelations of Michael, there hasn't been much "love" in there. My love life is just as active as my social life, which isn't really active at all. I'm so busy most of the time that I have no time to do anything, no time to hang out with my friends so nonetheless, none to go out on dates. However, I have found a nicce guy lately. His name is William, call him Drew though. He's really nice, met him a while back but had a pretty rough start. Went out with him last Wednesday night and hung out, it was fun. Hung out Thursday too since I slept over at his dorm XD (bad Michael, I know T_T;). We went to grab lunch Thursday and then I left for class. He wanted to have dinner together so we went to my sister's place to eat. He met my sister and we had sushi, since he was complaining that he went out with this guy who took him to this horrible place with sushi. After that, drove back to his dorm and hung out there for a while. Then I had to leave, don't know what's going to happen with him. Don't know if we can really date or not since he's going to China for 3 months in the Summer time. So we'll see just how things go and hopefully it'll turn out alright. Finally Fourthly, college life. I've been in college now for almost a year. I'm in my 3rd quarter/semester now, however you wanna call it. My 1st quarter/semester was really fun. Met a lot of new people, made some new friends, went to some great places, did some fun stuff. My grades were alright except for Psychology T_T; Sad I know... my major and I didn't get a good grade in it. My winter break was pretty good though I guess. Had a lot of stuff happen during that time, went broke plenty of times, hahaha. 2nd quarter wasn't so nice. Failed my calculus class because I didn't show up to it, too damned early in the morning. I'm going to probably retake it or take summer school for it. Didn't really do much but go to class and work for this part of the year. This quarter, well... it's just begun, don't know how it's going to turn out but I guess I'll have to try harder to make up for last quarter. I'm not exactly in the best position to be blogging right now but whatever, I have the notes already for the class I'm doing this in. Hopefully, this quarter ends great so that I don't have to take summer school.
Finally, really, this is the real one, my birthday. Yes, I'm 19 yrs old now!!! 2 more years until I'm legal to gamble and buy alcohol, woop-di-freaking-doo right? Who really cares? It isn't like I drink much as it is now anyways. I drink wine and my sister buys that most of the time :D gambling though, meh, not really excited for that because I don't wanna turn into an addict or something, but it should be great my first time since I took that gambling class =P (tell ya about it if you ask me on AIM). My birthday weekend was pretty eventful. The thursday/wednesday, went shopping at woodfield. Bought some great stuff from A|X and a few minor things at H&M. Friday I had work and my co-workers and employees surprised me with a cake from Jewel. It was really nice of them and it was a good cake. Friday night when I went home, my sister surprised me with another cake. That cake was really nice =) On Saturday, I had made reservations at Kaze a few days earlier. Dinner was great, but meh... just some stuff I don't really wanna mention happened. Some minors things pissed me off afterwards. After dinner, went to Sean's house for like a hangout sort of thing. Sunday, just hung out I think... can't quite remember what i did. Monday, was basically a family celebration with the 4 of us. All in all, at least I didn't have to spend my b-day this year at work or at school. It wasn't the best one, but it was a fun one at the most. I'm grateful for those who celebrated it with me and got me presents. Well xanga, I think that's all I can blog about for now. I'll probably update again soon, sometime within the next week or so. So until then... jaa ne! | | |
| To myself,
Everyday, it's the same routine if not, only a bit different. I wake up to the bright Sun shining it's rays through my window and through my shades. I toss and turn trying to hide from it, just like I try to hide from everything else. Is it really worth it? Does waking up really mean anything? Can I really accomplish something today? Does going to work, class or going out make any difference in my life? Do I deserve to do any of the things I own right now? Have I honestly worked hard to get what I have today? Do I deserve to keep living my life the way I am now? I forget how the world is so twisted, so corrupt, that everything is inevitable. "There's no such thing as a coincidence this world, there's only the inevitability of events." My favorite quote of all time, coming from a cartoon. How can something so trivial be so important and make such an impact on my life? As depressing as this rant may sound, it's truly how I feel though. May not be good for my health, may not be good for a lot of reasons, but if you don't feel like this at least once in your life, can you really say you've lived your life to the fullest and experienced everything? I've been through a lot in my opinion, to some others, it's nothing, to others, it's been like Hell. Sadness, happiness, joy, cheer, depression, lazy, sleepy, tired, suicidal, energetic, hyper, talkative, shy, grumpy, angry, pissed, irritated, annoyed, confused, accomplished, calm, peaceful, alone, scared, and many more. Only some of the feelings I've experienced in my life so far. How many more will I encounter in this life of mine? Will I come across anymore? Will I get a chance? Will there be a chance? Who knows... life is unpredictable, I may live to see tomorrow, but can I still say that if I die instead? Can't really explain how I feel right now, but that's all I have to say to myself. Good day, good evening, and good bye, this is it for now.
Sincerely,
Michael | | |
| How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
~Elizabeth Barrett Browning | | |
| I've lost count
I can't see
It's too dark
There's no light
You shut me out
You closed the door
You closed your heart Let me in
I can heal your pain
I want to be with you
I am your light
I am your hope
But still...
You closed your heart
You closed that door Locked away
Was your love
I had the key
I found the key
Let me in
You shut me out again
You locked the door
You closed that door Where has you gone
I need to see you
I need to be with you
I need you
I know you need me
Open up to me
Let me in again
But no... you refuse... GET OUT
LEAVE ME ALONE
GO AWAY
I HATE YOU
The pain...
I feel pain... You say such words
Such harsh words
I'll leave
Closing the door behind me
Leaving it closed
Goodbye | | |
| I remember I went to sleep late that night feeling uneasy
And had a very sad dream
The phone started to ring in the morning, breaking the silence
And the premonition became a reality
Leaving an unfading scar on my heart
You became a star by yourself *Goodbye --- You have gone to the place where we can never meet again
I can't accept the coldness of the eternal parting
I wish I could have heard from you
That I had certainly been loved by you
Only once, even if it had been a lie The sorrow I had thought to be endless came to an end
The season has changed, I feel bitterly cold
I will never forget that first day of summer
The sky kept on weeping instead of me this year
I feel as if I were living in the continuation of the dream
And I can't even cry now Boodbye --- Even my last words don't reach you
I'm made to realize the coldness of the parting
I wish I could have heard from you
That you never regretted the days we had spent together
Only once, even if it had been a lie Why did you do it this way
Leaving memories only to the very end? (*) repeat Please tell me this is only the story of the continuing dream
And that I'm not yet awake |
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